All in an afternoon’s work – The poop story

This afternoon, conveniently minutes before my sitter was scheduled to arrive, all three children pooped. Yes, at the same time. And they all needed my help. (And yes, I am telling the Internet about it. I have been reduced to poop stories. Clearly, I need to get out more.)

What to do? Where to go first? Was leaving an option? Or could I ignore them all and check my email until the sitter arrived, claiming ignorance?

Jack was all the way down in the basement, and that bathroom had no special wipes. You know, the flushable wipes that every family should have on hand always and forever because ohmygod, they make the cleanup of small children quite easy. But the stash of special wipes is on the second floor. The dilemma!

Emmie was on the first floor, stinking up the living room after I had just put her on the potty not once, but twice, and tried to bribe her into pooping on the potty. She’s all talk and no action when it comes to that. Two weeks ago, she did it for the first time and there was great joy in Snarkyville. We gave her two M&Ms, clapped, called the whole family and told her that once she started going in the potty all the time, she could have Dora underpants. And she had a huge smile on her face and was very excited and then, nothing. She won’t replicate it. Killin’ me, that one.

Then we had Maeve, the explosive pooper, who I was carrying around in my arms, dirty diaper and all. She was the one who needed the quickest attention, yet was the happiest about the whole affair, blowing raspberries and grabbing my hair and trying to shove it in her mouth. Clearly, the state of her butt was not anything that needed immediate attention, so I was able to make my Sophie’s Choice of diapers. In another post, I will be writing all about diapers, whether to choose cloth diaper or disposable one and their pros and cons. But if you have more than 1 toddlers and infant, there will be lot of dirty diapers per day and you will certainly need a nappy bin. I have bought one of the best nappy disposal bin from UK last year and it is still working.

One of the most popular diaper disposal systems is the baby trend diaper champ. It is easy to use since it has a single hand function and you wont have any problems in keeping the diaper odors under control. It has a rotating handle to help you open and close the diaper pail easily hence keeping the odors and bacteria safely inside all the time. No wonder it is so popular.

The diaper dekor plus on the other hand has an easy to use foot pedal system that leaves your hands free to deal with any other diapers that might be keeping your hands full. It also has liner bags that are formed by antimicrobial plastic film that eliminate the nasty odors.

I didn’t want Jack getting off the toilet and potentially contaminating any surfaces, so I picked him first. Also, he’s my first-born and I clearly like him the best. I ran upstairs, Maeve’s head bobbling all over the place, and grabbed the wipes and brought them all the way back down to the basement. Except he then informed me the container was missing as well. Not wanting to encourage him to use 264 wipes in one session, which he totally would if left with the stack of unpackaged wipes, I ran alllll the way back upstairs and came back down to put the wipes in the container.

Then I headed back to deal with Emily. She, of course, tried to tell me she didn’t have a poopy diaper. She, of course, ran away. But because she’s only 2, she doesn’t really get the concept of making herself hard to get, so she, of course, ran straight into the corner. I had her on the ropes, but I was still carrying Maeve, so I had to go put her down and provide her with a toy. In the two seconds I did that, Emmie tried to make a break for it and ran to the back of the house. Except, duh, she can’t open the door and that’s the only exit there, so she was foiled.

After I dragged her out from under the dining room table, I wrestled her onto the changing table and got down to business. But guess what? We were out of wipes downstairs. The stash? All the way upstairs, of course. I told Emmie to lie there and not move and she responded with a sing-songy, “OoooooKaaaayyyyyy Mommmmmmmyyyyyyyyy.”

A quick glance at Maeve on my jog through the living room revealed she was trying to roll herself closer to one of the big kids’ toys. Seriously, she’s trying to kill me with this mobility. I got the wipes and returned to find Emmie dancing on the changing table, watching herself in the mirror. My bad, I thought my 2-year-old would LISTEN to me and stay where I put her. I change her and escort her into the living room, where I swap her out for Maeven.

Back to the changing table, and wouldn’t you know it, Maeve pooped out her diaper and on her onesie. Guess where her clothes are kept? That’s right, all the way upstairs. Because I didn’t want to come downstairs and find her dancing on the changing table, I took her upstairs to finish the task in her room on that changing table.

New outfit and diaper in place, I figured I could take my time coming downstairs. Oh ho, would I have been wrong. I heard a little voice screaming from the basement that he used too many special wipes. And now the toilet was clogged.

For the love of petunias, can I catch a break here? I stuck Maeve on her playmat and grabbed the plunger just as the doorbell rang. My babysitter looked alarmed, but I assured her no one was going to be beaten with a plunger, I was just having a bit of technical difficulty. I waved in the direction of the two girls and said I’d be back.

When I arrived downstairs, however, Jack told me he was just kidding. He didn’t break the toilet. That’s his new thing now, to say something and then say, “I’m just kidding!” Lots of fun. Lots.

You might suspect I was a little stressed out and near the verge of insanity, but not so much. You know why? Daddy had called right before all this went down and gave me the best. news. EVER. He was coming home early, as in tonight.

The heavens opened and gold coins rained down upon me. This was better than Christmas. Better than getting Jack in to summer camp. (OK, not really. Nothing tops that.) The promise of help and sleep was in my future. I just had to wade through a little shit first. Not unlike a lot of situations in life, ya know?

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